27 November 2008
Rakookoo, KA - The pre(y)thanksgiving consumer holiday, known as 'Blood Wednesday', collided head on with the "real" world yesterday, when a gas masked businessperson [complete with briefcase and American flag] arrived at Santa's Depot. Bystanders had their photographs taken, some 'put on the mask and danced for daddy', hilarity ensued. By some grace of zog, the Xmas tree remained standing. Moments later, in the Factory parking the police block a white pickup truck's exit. Two more units arrived on the scene. It appears there are no living eyewitnesses to what happened next. Three building in the VickG consumer complex were badly damaged, stores were closed. They will be rebuilt by non-union construction workers on Thanksgiving day, to ensure the 0500hours opening of said retail giants on Black Friday.
We can neither confirm or deny any of this. Nor can we confirm or deny that Marvin Jackson has not been heard from in over 24 hours. Nor can we confirm or deny that any one ever actually landed on the moon. We can confirm that in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, Norman Rockwell's grave was dug up, then the decayed skeleton was bitch slapped.